Not Too Big of a Manatee

just words

Dear Mister Blog Person,

It’s come to my attention there’s been a notable lack of activity on this blog the past few weeks.

Although we’ve had our differences in the past, I, for one, would like to congratulate you on showing respect and restraint to us manatees by not recently directing harsh accusations and unfairnesses toward us, as you have Continue reading “Not Too Big of a Manatee”

News Interruption!

just words

News reporting is like customer service; sometimes good things happen, but no-one says anything. There’s good reasons why.

Even more likely; bad things are avoided or solved, and with the solution the impact and newsiness of the story fades away, either no longer interesting, a story that never developed, or a dog with a missing tail.

The dog’s tail disappears easily in the world of customer service. When I was a customer service manager Continue reading “News Interruption!”

Katie Go Home! (or, Welcome To South Korea for the Winter Olympics!)

just words

<Warning: The following story is biased. You’ll see.>

Why is Katie Couric hosting the Olympics? This is a sports event, not a political one. She shouldn’t be there; not to represent the United States. Not this year.

Tonight began Winter Olympics 2018 from South Korea, and a lot of great things happened, even some you could certainly call political, I suppose. But can’t people just get together? Even if the Koreas combine into one for the events, a single Korea, a motion, an expression, of interest to all earthlings … this is still a sporting event. Continue reading “Katie Go Home! (or, Welcome To South Korea for the Winter Olympics!)”

MANATEES FACE EVICTION

(MIAMI) Florida’s uppity manatee population may face deportation under a new effort by the Trump administration.

The popular “sea cows” are gearing up to take the case to court, while a local faction is considering migrating to Mexico … and a longer-term mission to Mars!

U.S. President Donald Trump hastily signed an executive order this week Continue reading “MANATEES FACE EVICTION”

MANATEES SUE MUSK

just words

Amid controversy over habitat, community standing, and even ethical posture, Florida’s manatees are suing billionare Elon Musk, and say they feel slighted by Musk’s latest adventures in space. A spokesman for a popular herd told the Associated Press in a prepared statement he was “shocked and offended” that people “care more about a little red sports car than manatees.”

The spokesman, who goes by just “Fred,” appealed to Musk, saying “if you can put a car in a rocket, you can put a manatee in one.” The lawsuit is based on Fred’s claim Continue reading “MANATEES SUE MUSK”

The Art Of Caregiving (Honestly!)

just words

Caregiving is a fine line. If a caregiver loses his credibility people can get hurt.

A person should be able to ask basic questions about drugs and alcohol without intending to be committed to an asylum, which is often the feeling that results from simply an evangelistic attitude about recovery. Suddenly you have an inheritable disease and if you don’t believe it’s for the rest of your life, you’re kidding yourself. What other mental illnesses are so … diagnosed without a license?

It’s easy to understand potential addicts and alcoholics running for the hills from the very thing that could save them, a meeting. Continue reading “The Art Of Caregiving (Honestly!)”

The Best of Netflix Without A Paddle (or, Moira’s Plan to Save Our Children!)

just words

Jim Parsons look out! There’s a new girl in town!

Her name is Catherine O’Hara, and she plays Moira Rose on the comedy series “Schitt’s Creek,” an over-enunciating, hat-wearing, elegantly-awkward conundrum of a human, and in season 3 (just added to Netflix) cleverly dons a hat reminiscent of both fluffy raccoon and osprey nest as she tries to lead the people as an elected official.

The mayor, by the way, is Roland Schitt, and he named the town after himself. There. Got the most unscrupulous part out of the way. Beyond the name and your suspicion it’s designed for the under 13 crowd, Schitt’s Creek is a gem of anti-political, unapologetic, just a little gay, for grown-ups inappropriateness. Continue reading “The Best of Netflix Without A Paddle (or, Moira’s Plan to Save Our Children!)”

Flat Theory (It’s A Thing!)

Quora is a website and app for overthinkers, like a candy store for questions and answers. I get a lot of views of my answers (mostly on the topic of addiction), making it my favorite place to play when I can’t sleep.

Today we didn’t talk about staged solar eclipses, one of my favorite fact-based topics, but we did discuss the fact the earth is probably flat. Of course! After seeing the new “flat earth propaganda pandas” on a TV news show yesterday, today we clashed on Quora. What fun!

The “flat is fun” science question I stumbled upon already had about 100 sometimes whimsical answers.

I couldn’t resist!

My @Quora profile

Continue reading “Flat Theory (It’s A Thing!)”

Basketball and Racism

just words

I recently wrote about a TV show called “Blackish,” which I vow to never like, even if it might have some good parts. I hate it; I’m a hater. I hate it without even watching it. I hate it on principle.

But the more I think about it, I’m not sure what I hate.

It’s very difficult for me.

Like you, probably, I want to stop thinking about it.

I want blacks and whites to be blacks and whites, Continue reading “Basketball and Racism”

Easy Viking Teriyaki Meatballs

just words

Mmmm. Meatballs!

What could be better? I like them little, so you can just pop them in your mouth. I also like to fry them instead of in the oven.

The recipe is simple …

1) Move to a house where they do not have city gas.

2) Periodically have trouble sleeping.

3) Eventually your propane delivery service, during a “bad winter,” probably soon, will charge you four-dollars per gallon. After paying $800-a-month a few times, quit your propane company and install a pellet stove.

4) Bide the time at night, when you can’t sleep, watching television. Soon you’ll own a Nuwave2 Precision Inductive Cooktop, the ultimate nose-flip at those propane people.

5) Purchase pre-cooked frozen little meatballs Continue reading “Easy Viking Teriyaki Meatballs”

Winter Apple Blues (or, How to Spin a Healthy Controversy)

a cat in a bowl shaped like a fish with an apple

The latest from my kitchen is, I have some new apples. This news is similar to previous reports from the kitchen, but although I have new apples frequently, it’s still news.

These new apples are organic. I didn’t read the details, but they’re different than just a regular apple.

First, they come in a plastic bag with graphics, and it says “organic” in big letters; there’s even a fancy plastic bag zipper. Second, they are smaller than regular apples. These organic apples have little holes in them, and are also less shiny and good-looking than regular apples.

Oh, and they cost more.

So, they’re organic. In order to learn more, I pretended to have a conversation with Lou Johnson, President of the Organic Apple Association, a watchdog group that protects the organic apple industry from unfair trade practices. Lou lives in Texas “off the grid,” in a small camper.

Continue reading “Winter Apple Blues (or, How to Spin a Healthy Controversy)”

Some Things Are Not Black Or White (or, Why The Show “Blackish” Is Probably Not Funny, Except I Didn’t Watch It)

just words

How about that show “Blackish?”

It’s a TV show. National.

As you might imagine, I don’t watch it. Really, I only watched a few minutes, and only to confirm in my overheated brain the concept is really what it is.

I feel like I’m going out on a limb, but this is a show named “blackish” because it’s about a group of people who are black, but look kind of like white people … like Obama. I didn’t make this up. I’m just saying it out loud.

It amazes me sometimes the dim wit of creative people Continue reading “Some Things Are Not Black Or White (or, Why The Show “Blackish” Is Probably Not Funny, Except I Didn’t Watch It)”