Cox, Lies and Videotape (or, How To Advertise Like The Big Blue Boys)

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Verizon has an ad on TV where they say “The fastest Internet available.” That’s what they are, pretty much anywhere in the U.S., but particularly if you can be connected via FIOS fiber.

So, in the world of advertising, in a case like this … how could an entity who’s a competitor position himself? What kinds of things might he say?

Cox is a cable provider in New England, who has this relationship to Verizon. The company has a decent product, but nevertheless has no idea how to promote it. Continue reading “Cox, Lies and Videotape (or, How To Advertise Like The Big Blue Boys)”

Big Money Ads! (or, Creative With Reptiles)

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Happy Holidays!

I thought I’d write an aricle making fun of television commercials during the Christmas (and football) season! Then something odd happened … on a few levels!

Who likes insurance companies? And on top of that, who likes commercials that don’t have anything to say … like insurance company commercials? When you think, they have so much money they can produce high-end commercials that don’t need to sell anything – that don’t say much about the product … who likes that?

statue of libertyLiberty has a big statue behind the actor, who’s acting often seems like “just complaining” for 30 seconds … but at least they score big in name recognition.

The problem with many insurance company commercials is they don’t brand strongly, especially the “funny” ones where you don’t know what the ad is for (also true for “a-loud-song-with moving-pictures” ads). Continue reading “Big Money Ads! (or, Creative With Reptiles)”

Newtonian Economics in 21st-c. America (or, What’s Smarter than a Phone?)

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Apple invented the smartphone, when it morphed a glorified Sony Walkman, the iconic iPod, into a telephone.

Now, the phone is (almost) the part you don’t need, and the pod has become a proper little pad. A little iPad – like the iPad’s little brother. But the little pad is a phone, still … for now.

Through the company’s long history Apple has invented many cool things. But not many new ones lately.

The bubble has burst … the game tilted.

GET READY TO PLAY!

It’s a good time to stop and look at where we are! Continue reading “Newtonian Economics in 21st-c. America (or, What’s Smarter than a Phone?)”

Apple and the New Cloud 9 Operating System (or, What’s My Password Again?)

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Do you have an Apple iPhone or computer?

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Does it ask you for your “account password” too often and for no good reason? Is it, like many, stuck, and you dread the Fort Knox password-problem-process?

You are not alone.

Even the stalwart Android smartphone operating system (nicknamed “suck-an-apple”) leans on a cloud, but the brains behind those phones and tablets, many made by Samsung, already know and aren’t too stubborn to accept, people will never live in the cloud. Continue reading “Apple and the New Cloud 9 Operating System (or, What’s My Password Again?)”

A Few Newthings (or, Amazon’s More Expensive No Advantage Program)

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I have canceled Amazon Advantage!

It’s a seller backend service. Without missing a beat, upon sending the message through their system to close it – I immediately lost all access. They should send me my products back now.

Amazon Advantage is for larger companies that have a logistics department. For me, a small seller, joining just resulted in me having to ship products to Amazon at my own expense with NO increased sales, despite Amazon’s effort to improve the visibility of those products. Continue reading “A Few Newthings (or, Amazon’s More Expensive No Advantage Program)”

How To Live Eclipse-Free! (or, Give Me Your Eyeballs, Part 2017)

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Kudos to NASA for pulling off that thing making the sun disappear this week! Just goes to show, you never know! What will disappear next?

Unfortunately, the darkness prompted wildlife in my yard to grow unusually bold, but there were no injuries.

Like a big cloud on a sunny beach day, the Monday moon created a largish shadow over fourteen states in the U.S.. The event, modeled after rare natural occurances, Continue reading “How To Live Eclipse-Free! (or, Give Me Your Eyeballs, Part 2017)”

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing (or, Not The Best Apple Pie Recipe!)

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I don’t really know what a blog is supposed to be about, except I did see the movie with the girl who blogged about Julia Childs, and enjoyed it. But, and I imagine I’m not alone, throughout the movie I never really “got” how the blogger chick was making the big bucks.

dragon flyingSo far for me, if my blog is making a lot of money, it’s keeping it to itself and not telling me. I’ll just keep doing what I think bloggers do! As a reader, you’re doing great!

This is NOT stream of thought. It’s painstakingly difficult to write blog stuff. Respect, man.

I bought some more apples. The others got eaten.

I was going to take a photo of the new bunch of apples (once again galas), because they’re really beautiful … but, frankly they look just like the first ones.

So much that, when I first set them into their apple bowl, Continue reading “I Don’t Know What I’m Doing (or, Not The Best Apple Pie Recipe!)”

About Me … Why Not? (or, Nothing Pun Going On Here!)

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You might be better off not reading this.

It was written by an expert in reverse-psychology, and you, even the most staunch, ruthlessly-skeptical readers, will probably be easily swept in by his clever techniques. You’re probably not smart enough to keep up. Therefore, it is strongly recommended Continue reading “About Me … Why Not? (or, Nothing Pun Going On Here!)”

Make a Video That Gets 100,000 Hits – Then Write a Blog Article About It (or, “I Eight The Nuggets”)

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Would you like to make a video that gets 100,000 hits?

Recently I posted about giving things away for free, and the things people don’t pay for anymore.

Well, the silver lining to the digital-don’t-sales cloud is, if you have good content, and you give it away for free, it may get a lot of hits! It’s the tradeoff that sits at the center of the Googlevertising secret formula.

The free thing is in the center and stays there, eyeballs rotate around it and advertising, if available and set up, monetizes it. The free thing stays in the system indefinitely, Continue reading “Make a Video That Gets 100,000 Hits – Then Write a Blog Article About It (or, “I Eight The Nuggets”)”

TAKE A BREAK AND BUILD SOME CONFIDENCE; MANDATORY SESSION (For Writers, Authors, Content Creators, Book Publishers, Self Publishers, Ship Captains And Their Cousins)

Googlevertising

(or, The Little Blog Boat That Could, An Argument For Writing Good, *sung to the tune of “Ain’t Got No Eyeballs”*)

Selling Jewelry on the Beach in Mexico
The jewelry guy, who knows the parasailing guy.

If the Internet is a web, it’s a web of advertising. The Internet advertising industry is a blessing and curse, of course, but it’s become, oddly, embedded in everything, the Mexican referral service of the Universe. Everybody is not only selling something, but probably somebody’s cousin (you know what I mean). It’s a great system that works!

So true. Easy to forget we’re talking about the Internet, which, we quickly remember, shouldn’t be a web of advertising. We hate the idea. Almost forgot.

And the frustration goes both ways;  viewers are not digging your content while you’re wondering why it’s not getting hits.

It’s not the Internet’s fault! Or your cousin’s! It’s yours! Your content is not good enough, or you’re assuming Continue reading “TAKE A BREAK AND BUILD SOME CONFIDENCE; MANDATORY SESSION (For Writers, Authors, Content Creators, Book Publishers, Self Publishers, Ship Captains And Their Cousins)”

Selling Digital Goods on The Internet – The Embedded Experience of Giving Google Money (Or, Your Eyeballs For a Song!)

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I was going to write a new song, and the first line was going to be:

“If you want to Google Google, all you have to type is Goo …”

But then I wrote this instead:

HOW TO MAKE MONEY: FAILURE-TARGETING

There are two big trends in Internet commerce that are actually completely new sales industries, made possible by the Internet – selling digitally-reproduceable things on the Internet, and teaching people how to sell digitally-reproduceable things on the Internet, based on a high failure rate.

The scenario is unique, and with a magnifying glass amazing. Ecommerce, the digitally-distributed part of it, has been created by Google, almost effortlessly, gracefully catching a fumble by Apple.

MONETIZATION, FAILURE NUMBER ONE

Information, music and video encompass a lot of what we’re talking about, what’s digitally-distributed, the digital “varieties,” like a digital file of a song. It’s a lot of stuff that could be sold.

As we watch over the past dozen years, though, it hasn’t been sold exactly as it looked like it would be. People never stopped downloading things for free. The model became too stiff with embedded IPR everywhere, Continue reading “Selling Digital Goods on The Internet – The Embedded Experience of Giving Google Money (Or, Your Eyeballs For a Song!)”

Say It Out Loud! The Merger of Media is a Good Thing!

The “merger of media” is a good thing. It’s happening all around us, and makes us clench our collective fists every day, while also giving us a new way to talk about why we’re clenching them.

It’s a good thing! For example, an actress, after the Oscars, stripped off her expensive designer dress and dove right into the swimming pool … on Instagram!

Did I say that out loud?

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Well, it did happen, and it was included in the news report about the Oscars! It wouldn’t have happened when I grew up. We didn’t have little hand-sized super computers that we could use to video us taking off our clothes and hopefully getting it on the news. It was impossible back then. You would have had to have someone accidentally find your video tape, then, clearly violating your intentions, nefariously distribute it, themselves, by hand (sort of), over the newly-developing Internet, as some stars like Paris Hilton Continue reading “Say It Out Loud! The Merger of Media is a Good Thing!”

Your Life: Invalid Click Activity, Blame the Googleoids or Join the Club (or, “An Article With a Lot of Specific Words”)

If you think the President of the United States has a lot of money and you should be worried about it; you should be worried about Google.

The history of the universe is relatively new. Dr. Evil is real. You will never find his lair, but you’ll hear stories …

Remember when the Internet was “new,” and big publishers like the “New York Times” were so stupid they didn’t get on the bandwagon, scratching their heads while going out of business as if Google had cast a magic spell upon world commerce? You remember, it was like, a couple years ago.

ny times logoThe stupidity, in hindsight, was massive; newspapers didn’t think the Internet was important and didn’t have websites for years, while us early-adopters got excited about any poor implementation of the new electonic universe, laughing that “People” magazine doesn’t understand. But us smart ones were still scratching our heads too, wondering how Google was “doing it.” Now, instead of having figured out how Google does it, we just forgot the question, buried by emotional short-lived POTUS bashing.

All that’s happening now is just the same. You could call it invisible stupidness mixed with invisible ingenuity Continue reading “Your Life: Invalid Click Activity, Blame the Googleoids or Join the Club (or, “An Article With a Lot of Specific Words”)”