Some Things Are Not Black Or White (or, Why The Show “Blackish” Is Probably Not Funny, Except I Didn’t Watch It)

How about that show “Blackish?”

It’s a TV show. National.

As you might imagine, I don’t watch it. Really, I only watched a few minutes, and only to confirm in my overheated brain the concept is really what it is.

I feel like I’m going out on a limb, but this is a show named “blackish” because it’s about a group of people who are black, but look kind of like white people … like Obama. I didn’t make this up. I’m just saying it out loud.

It amazes me sometimes the dim wit of creative people who somehow find themselves creating this crap. Where do they come from? Do they, themselves, the creators of “Blackish,” have friends or family who are “blackish?” Are these “mocha” friends of theirs so fascinating, just because of their blackishness, so fabulous they can provide enough jokes for a weekly network TV show?

What happened? Did the kids get in the production ideas meeting room and sabotage paperwork? Sorry, I don’t have anything against kids. Let’s change that to “dumb kids.”

They should have their own show. Kids who are also intelligence-compromised. Or people who live in Australia but are actually Indonesian. Or skateboarders who like grilled cheese sandwiches. There’ll be tons of jokes for these new shows! Giggle, giggle … I’m gonna start workin’ on ‘em right away!

Australianish.

Sometimes I go off on tangents. Like with the kids and skateboarders … let me get back in focus!

The show “Blackish” is an attempt to string jokes together about not one, but two possibly-awkward-but-usually-not-funny-and-maybe-offensive-too stereotypes. I can’t imagine the leading lady, an odd-looking hybrid, will be able to pull it off!

No, I don’t know her name. (I don’t watch the show.) But the whole thing is a disasterously intrinsically bad idea, I think. I believe no-one should actually be able to identify with the characters, and if they do, it’s a short-lived whim, not reason to rally around a hit show.

Hey, why not just pick a race? That’s what people do!

The hit shows are the Goldbergs. Those are Jewish people. And The Walking Dead. Clearly dead whites from around Tennessee, I think (I don’t watch that either). The Big Bang Theory. That’s white guys and a hot chick (“Friends” gone nerdy). Game of Thrones. Midgets and stuff.

Back in the day, George Jefferson (black man done good) inspired me and my peers by “movin’ on up!” There was no question what it was about. The show was blatantly non-offensive by being genuinely-funny.

There’s more, but the point is the hit shows are easy to understand, because they’re about something (probably humor or excitement or just that midgets are cool), more than just being, for example, about Jewish people.

People know, even “haters” know, whites are pretty good people (mostly), and blacks are too. As far as the mixed-types, we know these people are walking around and they’re just “normal” to us. We don’t need a name for them, to laugh at jokes about them. We’re all set.

We’ve got enough colors already.

The whole idea of “varying degrees” of  black or white is offensive; it’s the essence of racism. Do these people have nothing else to offer, but their “varying degree?” Somebody make a TV show about it!

Beyond that, people being hard to describe is not a good reason to make a show about them. The title “Black-ish” underscores ambiguity.

Nothing left but a bunch of jokes, I guess. I can’t wait.

What would Vinnie Barbarino think?

Or Forrest Gump?

Blackish is really odd, I think … especially the leading lady (with a ski slope nose like Michael Jackson). She should have been a midget-lover on “Game of Thrones.”

(Warning: The following could be considered off-color)

Or, maybe a pale, thin Henry-lover who loses her head on the fabulously-entertaining show based on real British people, “The Tudors!” I’d like to see her do that.

Maybe.

If she was just a teensie bit whiter.

Life for off-white actresses, as we all know, can be unfair.

Particularly in England (those bastards!).

Is “off-white” the right term?

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