FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MANATEES DEMAND APOLOGY

Hello. My name is Fred, and I’m a manatee. I’m writing because I was offended by the tone of the previous article on this blog, titled “Press Release About Manatees.”

The author even admits he doesn’t know anything about manatees, and it’s not really a press release. We manatees don’t like it when humans act in a distrespectful manner toward us, and demand an apology. We also have a short list. Continue reading “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MANATEES DEMAND APOLOGY”

PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MANATEES

just words

The manatee is in danger. We must help!

The manatee is a fat, lazy animal that flops around a little, living just “on the edge of existence,” according to “Forces of Nature,” a documentary airing on WSBE TV.

The narrator explained, while I painfully watched footage of manatees floating lazily around some food-type plants but making no effort to eat, Continue reading “PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MANATEES”

Let Your Inner Cat Out!

a cat in a bowl shaped like a fish with an apple

I wrote an article recently about a fisher that ran into my screened-in porch chasing my cat.

I was sure I wanted to, but wasn’t sure how to, respond to the many comments I got from people pleading with me to keep my cat indoors. I don’t want to do that!

It’s not me, really, but I’m a diplomatic kind of soul. If I were the cat, I wouldn’t want me to do that!  Continue reading “Let Your Inner Cat Out!”

The Fisher (Sighting: Westerly, RI, 2017)

I had a fisher on my back porch last night. It chased my cat right into the screened-in porch. The cat smartly scooted under the couch but not before hollering for me.

I heard her and came out from my room, and there was a very large “cat,” something odd about it … which had obviously chased her in, causing her to yell to get my attention – While I was immediately concerned for my cat and was looking for her (but she was under the couch), I didn’t really examine this supersized “cat” that was standing there waiting for me to tell it to go away. I went for a quick flashlight grab, returned, and the fisher was sniffing the bottom of the couch. I figured it out immediately and said “Get out of here!” and the animal departed quickly.

It was maybe ten last night. I’m in Westerly, RI, on the river Continue reading “The Fisher (Sighting: Westerly, RI, 2017)”

Time and Distance; Nature Cat And a Real Live Mouse (A Tiny Documentary)

cat and mouse

In “Everything Theory” we sometimes talk in complicated ways about simple things. Everything Theory is about Nature, though, and as a philosopher, I like to think Nature is not too complicated for us mortal non-scientists to understand. It’s a simple philosophy: Nature wouldn’t work if animals didn’t know what they were supposed to do!

I’m guilty of complicating it, while trying to unravel nature’s messages, in recent posts about “Everything,” one of my most loved topics.

Then I got a cat. Things got simple again!

TitanicFor example, I used the Titanic to illustrate how time and distance are bound together, like one thing, and there’s nothing we can do about it, even when it’s life or death.

The Titanic is a terrific example, and it’s freezing at the end of the story made for a strong analogy to the inescapable character of time. “If we could manipulate time and distance,” I eloquently wrote, “we would have, and all these statistics would be different.” My treatment of the topic – time and distance – I thought, was a little elaborate, but thorough.

Then I saw what the cat did. Continue reading “Time and Distance; Nature Cat And a Real Live Mouse (A Tiny Documentary)”

Chasing Pterodactyl and Sharing the Moon

My stepson Todd and I went kayaking recently on the river where I live. I’m not alone, accompanied in my river habitat by impressive creatures, from tiny lobster-like critters determined to cross the lawn in the spring, to overgrown slow-motion snapping turtles and prehistoric-looking great blue herons.

great blue heron
Great Blue Heron

The herons are big and have zombie eyes. Todd and I both got a good look that day on the river. As we approached a wide corner, the background a big spread of low-lying grass where “Mister Blue” (I just made that up now) likes to hang around, I told Todd “We’ll see him up here … I’ll flush him out!” Feeling confident, we pushed forward on the water a little Continue reading “Chasing Pterodactyl and Sharing the Moon”