Save My Soul! (Inside The Mind of an Alcoholic)

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You awake? Got a story.

While my hobbies these days generally don’t include soul-saving, mostly because no-one wants me to save them and I stopped looking for candidates, which is a good thing, I still yearn to spin some salvation.

I know people. I know things. I know stories.

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. Continue reading “Save My Soul! (Inside The Mind of an Alcoholic)”

News Interruption!

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News reporting is like customer service; sometimes good things happen, but no-one says anything. There’s good reasons why.

Even more likely; bad things are avoided or solved, and with the solution the impact and newsiness of the story fades away, either no longer interesting, a story that never developed, or a dog with a missing tail.

The dog’s tail disappears easily in the world of customer service. When I was a customer service manager Continue reading “News Interruption!”

The Art Of Caregiving (Honestly!)

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Caregiving is a fine line. If a caregiver loses his credibility people can get hurt.

A person should be able to ask basic questions about drugs and alcohol without intending to be committed to an asylum, which is often the feeling that results from simply an evangelistic attitude about recovery. Suddenly you have an inheritable disease and if you don’t believe it’s for the rest of your life, you’re kidding yourself. What other mental illnesses are so … diagnosed without a license?

It’s easy to understand potential addicts and alcoholics running for the hills from the very thing that could save them, a meeting. Continue reading “The Art Of Caregiving (Honestly!)”

The Orbs of Balance (or, Be a Better Biped!)

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Ask the dog … Standing up isn’t as easy as it looks!

PHYSICAL BALANCE

I like to talk about balance, in the Universe … and within our hearts and minds. Balance is a pendulum that can determine health.

Inside our bodies we have physical balance, allowing us to get around. Some do it better than others. How important is understanding your body’s geometric and gravitational muscular interactions, and your mind’s invisible mastery of balance? Continue reading “The Orbs of Balance (or, Be a Better Biped!)”

Basketball and Racism

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I recently wrote about a TV show called “Blackish,” which I vow to never like, even if it might have some good parts. I hate it; I’m a hater. I hate it without even watching it. I hate it on principle.

But the more I think about it, I’m not sure what I hate.

It’s very difficult for me.

Like you, probably, I want to stop thinking about it.

I want blacks and whites to be blacks and whites, Continue reading “Basketball and Racism”

Winter Apple Blues (or, How to Spin a Healthy Controversy)

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The latest from my kitchen is, I have some new apples. This news is similar to previous reports from the kitchen, but although I have new apples frequently, it’s still news.

These new apples are organic. I didn’t read the details, but they’re different than just a regular apple.

First, they come in a plastic bag with graphics, and it says “organic” in big letters; there’s even a fancy plastic bag zipper. Second, they are smaller than regular apples. These organic apples have little holes in them, and are also less shiny and good-looking than regular apples.

Oh, and they cost more.

So, they’re organic. In order to learn more, I pretended to have a conversation with Lou Johnson, President of the Organic Apple Association, a watchdog group that protects the organic apple industry from unfair trade practices. Lou lives in Texas “off the grid,” in a small camper.

Continue reading “Winter Apple Blues (or, How to Spin a Healthy Controversy)”

Some Things Are Not Black Or White (or, Why The Show “Blackish” Is Probably Not Funny, Except I Didn’t Watch It)

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How about that show “Blackish?”

It’s a TV show. National.

As you might imagine, I don’t watch it. Really, I only watched a few minutes, and only to confirm in my overheated brain the concept is really what it is.

I feel like I’m going out on a limb, but this is a show named “blackish” because it’s about a group of people who are black, but look kind of like white people … like Obama. I didn’t make this up. I’m just saying it out loud.

It amazes me sometimes the dim wit of creative people Continue reading “Some Things Are Not Black Or White (or, Why The Show “Blackish” Is Probably Not Funny, Except I Didn’t Watch It)”

BLOG OWNER RESPONDS TO SENSITIVE MANATEE ISSUE

Dear Fred The Manatee,

Thank you for contacting me.

I’m sorry you thought I was being harsh. I’m not sure I agree, but it’s becoming more important to me every day to consider your case a priority because it’s the kind of news people care about.

Even though you’re just an underwater snuffleupagus nobody asked to swim around everywhere really slowly, I respect your right to equal access to warmer water, Continue reading “BLOG OWNER RESPONDS TO SENSITIVE MANATEE ISSUE”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MANATEES DEMAND APOLOGY

Hello. My name is Fred, and I’m a manatee. I’m writing because I was offended by the tone of the previous article on this blog, titled “Press Release About Manatees.”

The author even admits he doesn’t know anything about manatees, and it’s not really a press release. We manatees don’t like it when humans act in a distrespectful manner toward us, and demand an apology. We also have a short list. Continue reading “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MANATEES DEMAND APOLOGY”