Dear Fred The Manatee,
You lazy bastard.
You don’t know what I like! I’m a big fan of manatees; I just don’t like you! You can punch me in the nose any time; it would be funny. I could move my nose easily before you ever reached it.
Ever since the TV documentary, you manatees have done
Continue reading “DEBATE RAGES OVER MANATEE FATE”
Dear Blog Owner,
It has come to our attention you’re considering naming your band “Manatee Revolution,” which we manatees find offensive, and vow to do things to stop. Manatees are tired of being objectified and having our charm and looks used commercially without our consent.
We also wanted to tell you we formed a committee to organize a fact finding mission to Cancun.
Continue reading “MANATEES THREATEN IPR CASE”
Dear Fred The Manatee,
Thank you for contacting me.
I’m sorry you thought I was being
harsh. I’m not sure I agree, but it’s becoming more important to me every day to consider your case a priority because it’s the kind of news people care about.
Even though you’re just an underwater
s nobody asked to swim around everywhere really slowly, I respect your right to equal access to warmer water, nuffleupagus Continue reading “BLOG OWNER RESPONDS TO SENSITIVE MANATEE ISSUE”
Hello. My name is Fred, and I’m a manatee. I’m writing because I was offended by the tone of the previous article on this blog, titled “
Press Release About Manatees.”
The author even admits he doesn’t know anything about manatees, and it’s not really a press release. We manatees don’t like it when humans act in a distrespectful manner toward us, and demand an apology. We also have a short list.
Continue reading “FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: MANATEES DEMAND APOLOGY”
In Greek Mythology, Echidna is mother of all monsters, and mother of the famed “Chimera.”
I’m wondering if she was such a bad monster because she didn’t have a mother herself! She came from nowhere!
I made ended up on “Share The Moon,” my spooky CD, available where great music is sold! It’s a song about the great monster, one which … sort of created itself!
I recently came across a “workout” file of music,
Continue reading “Build-A-Monster Songwriting Workshop!”
This is my stepson, Todd, with vocals on a song he wrote. Brandon Raimondo plays the looped guitar, and I do the guitar solo.
Todd brought this to me a few months ago and we spent the day producing and adding the solo.
I’m glad he did! Beautiful job, Todd!
“Why You Wanna Leave” (Todd Barber) from the forthcoming CD, “East Coast Represent.”
The manatee is in danger. We must help!
The manatee is a fat, lazy animal that flops around a little, living just “on the edge of existence,” according to “Forces of Nature,” a documentary airing on WSBE TV.
The narrator explained, while I painfully watched footage of manatees floating lazily around some food-type plants but making no effort to eat,
Continue reading “PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MANATEES”
Time to thank a few folks.
I recently saw Marcy Kelly and Rickie Louise Miller at the Knickerbocker, a club in my hometown; a wonderful show! The band’s “
Sugar,” usually fronted by Marcy and Natalia Rosso. It’s mostly indescribable …
Marcy sets the bar for professional singing; the best I’ve seen in a regional touring act, and on Thanksgiving Eve I was ten feet from the stage dancing, and at one point looked up and pretty much gave up any prayer to be a great singer!
Continue reading “Say a Little Prayer (Live Concert)”